


Visions of Sugar Plums

by anarchycox



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Crack, M/M, Sweet, christmas elves au, pure christmas fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21962038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Every fifty years, the lands of elves send elves to other lands. Eggsy has been chosen to be the arranged marriage for the incoming shoemaker elf. He is excited and nervous, and hopes for happy ever after.
Relationships: Jamal/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 22
Kudos: 105
Collections: 2019 Kingsman Stocking Stuffers





	Visions of Sugar Plums

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thenerdyindividual](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenerdyindividual/gifts).



> Merry Christmas my dear friend.

“I’m sorry, what?” Eggsy looked at everyone gathered in horror. “What do you mean I’m getting married? I haven’t even shared a hot cocoa with anyone! Not never gone on the candy cane lane walk with anyone. Who thinks I offered my bow?” Eggsy was sure he’d rather remember courting someone. His eyes widened. “I’m not marrying Roxy am I?” Sure they had shared a cocoa but that was just as friends, no way would she have thought that was a courting gesture - it hadn’t even had sprinkles on it.

“Ew, no. Gingersnaps took my bow,” she said, and the whole room cheered. Ginger flushed and ducked her head.

“Okay good, good, but seriously why does everything think I’m getting married?” Eggsy was thrilled for his friends, but that made him even more lost.

Merlin looked at him. “It is the fifty year exchange, we are the receivers this year.”

Eggsy’s eyes widened. “And you picked me?” His voice cracked a bit. “I’m only a junior to you and Harry, barely 425. And I’m the one receiving? There has to be a more worthy pick. My house is -”

“Eggsy,” Harry smiled at him kindly. “We have no one with a better heart than you. You have more love and joy to share than any other elf in our division, and you have worked so hard to make sure that Santa is up to date on exactly what shoes children want, which was a place we were sorely underdeveloped. Which is why we think the match that was arranged for you was perfect.”

“Oh?” Eggsy looked at Roxy who gave a nod and hoped maybe she had been involved in it. He adored his bosses but Merlin and Harry didn’t exactly understand the younger elves at times. They were hitting their 700s, and rumour has it they had actually exchanged bows in their 200s. Even Santa had thought they were too young, but the story went they just walked out on Santa’s lecture about waiting until they were at least 300, stomped over to the parson snowman and said their promises, not caring what anyone thought. Merlin still brought Harry cocoa every day at break time, and and spare ribbon he found Harry wrapped around Merlin when they walked by each other. 

Eggsy wanted that too. But he had been chosen for the exchange, which meant he was being married to an elf from another land. They did this every fifty years, just to make sure ideas didn’t grow stagnant, that they kept up with the world. To be chosen was a big deal, Harry who was in charge of their division couldn’t even authorize it - Santa had to sign off. Not at all nerve wracking to have the main guy pick him. 

“From the Shoemakers,” Merlin said. He looked at his files. “Name is Jamal, and he will be arriving in a week, and all goes well you two will say your promises when Santa returns.”

Eggsy gulped a bit. “I have to get this squared away now? In our busiest time?”

“It is actually their slow time, and it was easiest for him to travel,” Merlin explained. “And you could use the extra pair of hands, couldn’t you? Something about limited edition Star Wars Vans?”

“Why are we making children vans?” Harry frowned for a moment. “They cannot drive.” 

Eggsy laughed. “Type of shoe, Harry. And yeah, the art on them is a bitch and a half.” Eggsy looked at Merlin. “And you think, I’ll want to share cocoa with him?”

“Based on the information I received, aye,” Merlin promised. “I would, Harry would, never ever have suggested you for this exchange if we didn’t think Jamal would suit you.”

“Turkish delight, I need to clean my house, the gumdrops are barely sparkling.” Eggsy bolted out of the meeting room and hurried towards his tiny cabin. It was technically two bedrooms, but the second one was more a large closet than anything else. He may have picked up Harry’s clothing obsession over the years, but really an elf while having a basic uniform was allowed to adapt it a bit. Most just didn’t. But he liked the subtle different shades of green, the red trim or gold trim variations. Oh frangipane, what would he wear to meet Jamal?

*

Eggsy went for the traditional Santa’s elf uniform, the official one they wore to see Santa off. With a pair of trainers though, he refused to ever wear the elf slippers, hated them with a fiery passion and once when Santa had questioned it, Harry had glared at the man and said his kid could wear whatever he wanted on his feet. Was incredible that, but Harry pushed the main guy more than anyone. And got away with it, because their particular division was specialized, they were the secret desires division - when a letter contained a secret, one it didn’t even know it carried they were the ones to crack it and match the kid well. They answered questions even Santa couldn’t, which meant occasionally they got to stand up to him.

Eggsy stood with Harry and Merlin at the travel portal. “What if he doesn’t like me?” he asked softly.

“He will love you,” Harry reassured, “Just like we do.”

“Well hopefully not like we do. We love you like we pulled you from the baby garden ourselves,” Merlin said. “Hopefully he likes you in a more…sugar plums sort of way.”

“Ew, Merlin no saying something that filthy to me,” Eggsy winced. Gross thinking of them sugar plumming it out. He definitely ignored the heated look they were sharing. The portal began to swirl and hum and then a man emerged. He had the most gorgeous eyes Eggsy had ever seen and was wearing the more neutral colours of the elves of the shoemaker’s clan. He had traveled alone.

Merlin nudged Eggsy forward. 

“Hiya, I’m Eggsy,” Eggsy held out his hand. “I am your receiver. Welcome to the North Pole and Santa’s Workshop.”

“Jamal, is it always this cold here? Your magic doesn’t you know make it warm?” 

“Sorry, we’re born to it, so has to be really cold before we feel it.” Eggsy took off his uniform jacket, showing the thin red layer underneath. “Here,” he said and put it over Jamal’s shoulders. “This help?”

“Does. So ummm, what does receiver mean for you lot? Because back home it means tour guide and then we set up the person alone.”

“Oh,” Eggsy shot a desperate look to Harry, who was clearly at a loss. “Yup, here too,” Eggsy agreed. “You’ll bunk down with me for a few days, just until you get a hang of the ropes and then we’ll set you all up free and clear.”

“Eggsy,” Merlin stepped forward.

Eggsy didn’t even look at him. “Free and clear,” he said firmly. “How about we take your bag to my place and then I’ll give you a tour?”

“Sounds good. Maybe a hat?”

“Sure,” Eggsy smiled politely. “I’ll get you a cup of cocoa too.” Eggsy started walking and ignored the hand that Harry put to his back for a moment, the comfort would be needed later. Sure he had been excited, but if Jamal didn’t know that they were an arranged marriage he wasn’t going to tell the man. “I live in the gumdrop zone, smaller houses, but more companionship? Always people out and about to hang with. The cocoa house is also the best. Not too far a walk to work. I’ll be showing you the ropes there too, since I’m the go to bloke for shoes.”

“The ones you are wearing a brilliant, are you allowed to not wear the elves shoes?” Jamal was looking at his feet.

“Harry made it happen for me. You must have been able to wear so many,” Eggsy looked at him eagerly. “What is your specialty? What is your favourite material? What is -”

“I hate making shoes.”

“Oh.” Eggsy swallowed. “Okay, then.”

“I’m good at it, but I don’t like it much,” Jamal winced. “I wasn’t supposed to say that for another fifty or so years. But sometimes I just blurt things out when I’m nervous.”

“What do you like?”

“Gears, and springs, and anything metal.”

“Merlin is brilliant with that stuff, all the tech toys kids want. He has been complaining about his fingers, but I could arrange an apprenticing to him.” They were at the house and Eggsy opened the door. He had fussed up the whole place, made the whole thing shine.

He didn’t think Jamal was even noticing, not with the promise of working with Merlin.

Eggsy sighed a bit, well it was all fine.

*

Jamal adored working for Merlin, and with this division of elves in general. It was their busiest time, but everyone was joking and snarking, and it was just a good air about it. Back home it was so rigid. Here, he didn’t feel like a cog.

And Eggsy had been an amazing receiver. He had been warned that the North Pole elves were as cold hearted as their climate. But Eggsy was all smiles and friendship. The rumours that maybe he’d be sacrificed to guarantee a white Christmas were complete rubbish. He thought something was up, because every once in a while he thought Eggsy looked at him with a wistful look, and all the other elves seemed to be hugging him a lot and telling him it would be okay.

Maybe they meant because he was rubbish, and Eggsy should have had a better exchange than him. He was pretty sure he was sent not because he was the best like it was supposed to be, but because he never really fit. He should try a little harder for Eggsy, he had been really nice. He had mentioned the cocoa house and Jamal was due for a break soon. “Sir?” he asked Merlin.

“Marzipan kumquats,” Merlin snapped and Jamal winced. Cursing was a bit different here than back home, but he knew that wasn’t good. “Bloody baby tech taffy pull.” Merlin looked up. “Break time?”

“Yeah, I was going to go to the cocoa house, do you know what Eggsy likes?”

“Half cocoa, half coffee, light whip, chocolate sprinkles and green glitter,” Merlin replied. He went back to his work without another word.

Jamal walked to the cocoa house and was greeted warmly by a few people. But coldly by others it was all confusing. He went to the counter and put in the order. He gave his work card because he learned everyone hear got a free cocoa everyday during the month of December, help keep morale up from the big guy. He went to wait for the drinks and noticed a woman waving. He went over, “Hiya, Gingersnaps right?”

“Ginger is fine,” she smiled. “Want to join me?”

“No, want to get this order to Eggsy.” He flinched a bit at the loud squeal she let out.

“You are sharing cocoa!” She actually bounced up and hugged. “Eggsy told us, not to put the pressure on you, that it was fine. We all knew he was disappointed, but agreed. Only you are sharing cocoa, now. This is so wonderful, he must be so happy. He was so excited that he was chosen, worked so hard to prepare for you.”

Jamal smiled, completely lost, “He’s a good elf.”

“The best,” Ginger agreed. “I’m so happy you are sharing cocoa.”

“Thanks, but -” Before he could ask what the shoe laces, his order was called and he hurried it back to the Kingsman wing of the workshop. He brought the cup to Eggsy. “Here you go, brought you cocoa?”

“Thanks, Jamal, appreciate that.” Eggsy didn’t have a weird reaction, but at least three people were leaning forward.

Jamal took his cup back to his work station. He needed to figure this out. He could ask Eggsy but he would smile and deflect. Harry and Merlin would protect Eggsy and he didn’t know if that would mean the truth. There was only one place to go really. Jamal finished his work quick and headed towards the main building. He gulped a bit. This was a big deal, the biggest ever. He knocked on the door and a woman opened. “Hiya, I’m Jamal, the new exchange? And I have a couple questions?”

“Of course, dearie, come on in. He’s a little busy right now, but I bet I can answer them for you. I just am pulling some biscuits out of the oven. We’ll have a sit with some milk and snacks, and get you all sorted out.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Claus, ma’am,” Jamal said and let her hug him. That was a damn good hug.

*

Eggsy was putting together dinner when he heard the door open. “Hey, Jamal, I talked to housing. They think they can get you sorted by the weekend.” He had had to pull a lot of strings. No one had expected him to need his own house. Eggsy was on Reindeer stall duty for after Christmas, when they were full from all the treats that had been left. But Jamal was a block over, in a cute cabin. Eggsy looked over. “Jamal? You okay?”

“Mrs. Claus hugs a lot.”

“She does,” Eggsy agreed. “You got a problem needs sorting, she’s the one you want, not the main guy. You have a problem, Jamal?”

“I did,” Jamal looked hesitant. “Eggsy?”

“Whatever is wrong, we can sort it out,” Eggsy promised. “Not working out with Merlin, I don’t have much favours left right now, but I can try to pull some strings.”

“After dinner, want to go on a walk down candy cane lane with me?”

“What in the actual candied almonds are you on about?”

“We could share a cocoa while we do it,” Jamal added.

Eggsy had to sit down. “Huh?”

“We were supposed to be promised to each other.” Eggsy gave a little nod. “But when I didn’t know that, you didn’t tell me. You were going to just let it all go, let me not be promised to you.”

“Of course, wouldn’t never ask that of you out of the blue.”

“Not out of the blue now,” Jamal said. “Any bloke who would do that? That’s a bloke I want to go for a walk with.”

“I like walking. Walking is the gumdrops.” Eggsy looked at him. “You are so gorgeous.”

“Don’t know about that.”

“I do,” Eggsy said. “Let’s eat.”

He flushed when Jamal took his hand. They were walking and both froze. “Right, we are going to pretend we didn’t see Harry and Merlin go down that dark alley there, okay?”

“Think we’ll be walking here when we’re their age?” Jamal shivered a bit and Eggsy took off his scarf and wrapped it around Jamal.

“I hope so,” Eggsy replied. He took a deep breath and leaned forward, brushed his lips against Jamal’s. The elf might be cold, but his lips were warm. He smelled great too. Eggsy stepped back. “Couple more of those, I might be giving you my Christmas bow.”

“Well, now I am definitely down for that,” Jamal grinned. 

“You know it is an actual bow, not my dick right? No dick until after we do our promises.”

Jamal laughed. “Oh sure, I totally knew that.”

Eggsy kissed his nose. “No, you didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t.” Jamal tugged and they kept walking. “So not until after the promises, huh?”

“Sorry, them’s the rules.”

“Thought the Kingsman were the rebel elves that broke all the rules, or that just to avoid elf slippers?” Jamal gave him a challenging look.

Eggsy smiled back. “I’ll show you rebel elf,” he said.

“I hope you do.”

It was a fast walk home, and when they made their promises a couple weeks later, Jamal wearing his bow, Eggsy ignored the knowing looks Merlin and Harry gave him. Old blokes like those definitely did not know about the sort of sugar plumming he and Jamal had been up to.


End file.
